The Desires of Our Heart.

" When I was in my late 20's early 30's I thought God would send me a husband. As I grew older, I wanted a husband for the wrong reasons. I felt God would send my husband anyway because I was living according to his word. Now, I feel that it is not His intention for me to be married. But I want to be. So I'm trapped in between abiding and satisfying. I know I chose the latter and I know it is not good. I pray that he keeps me hold until I get it. - My co-worker"

See I think that you and I and many other women have had or have a misunderstanding of the point of marriage and family. I think people (men and women) desire to be married for worldly reasons and have kids for worldly reasons.

We want a husband so that we can have kids, and live in a nice house and drive a nice car and go to church together on Sunday’s. So that we can live the American dream. We want a husband for companionship and sexual reasons. I’m not saying that these worldly desires are wrong.

However, in the mist of our own fleshy and worldly desires, we miss the point of it all. The bible tell us that, this life on earth is temporary, it’s fading away [biblical  reference 1 John 2:17]. Jesus tell us to store up treasure in heaven, not on earth where thieves steal and rust destroys[biblical reference Matthew 6:19-21]. Jesus out of his own mouth tell us if we do not die to ourselves daily, and hate ourselves(which he means our lives, our desires), and hate our kids, wives, husbands, moms, and dads we are not worthy to be his disciple [biblical reference Luke 14:26]. What this is saying is that even if we were to get married, we would have to live as if we were not, as Paul tells us in the bible[biblical reference 1 Corinthians 7:28-29].This doesn’t mean live in sin, as if we were not married. It means live as a  husband or as a wife but focus so much of Jesus that we put our spouse second, and our kids third. To the world that’s odd and strange but isn't that how's it supposed to be? The way Christians are supposed to live according to the NT in the bible shouldn't reflect how non-Christians are living. That means being uncomfortable for the sake of Christ. Uncomfortable is subjective depending on what God want to use you for.

The reason why I think God hasn’t given us our fleshy desires is because if he did he wouldn’t be first. It’s meant as a blessing to save us. I myself had to understand this and I’m learning and God is showing me what I wasn’t able to see for the past four to five  years. Now, I thank God for not sending me a true man of God, who's after his own heart because I would have been upset if my husband lived as if we weren’t married (in a biblical sense).

I, like you and so many others, spend most of our Christian lives living the way we were raised to live, by our churches. Thinking that if we appear to be holy, by being abstinent and going to church that God would be pleased. However, so many times our flesh (desires) over shined what God wanted to use us for.

So, I don’t think you, I and so many Christian women are single because God doesn’t want to give us the desires of our heart [biblical reference Psalms 7:34]. I think we’re single because we need to get to the point where we are truly putting God first and understand that this life is temporary.

If God doesn’t give us our desire of a husband or kids, would we take matters in our own hands and live like the world or would we stand strong, and be content in the situation that we’re in and still live for God?

See the next post entitled Answer.